I read part of this book a few months ago when it was apparently on Kindle Unlimited. Guess I should have finished it then, because I apparently turned it back in, subsequent events renewed my interest in it, and now I had to buy it. But it’s worth the purchase.
I have become more aware of the issues of boundaries in the recent past. Paradoxically, a great job where reasonable demands are made of me has strengthened the feeling that in the rest of my life well-meaning people sometimes ask too much. I’ve had a difficult time sorting out my feelings about these situations. Am I being difficult when I say no to things?
The authors both approach the subject from a Christian perspective. The utility of this may depend in part on your stance on Christianity. For my part, as a believer, I’m not offended by the examples and verses, but sometimes they feel a bit bolted on.
It’s very readable, and fast-paced (I have only myself to blame for bogging down; I’ve been working on the attention span and reading more real books and less random garbage on the internet). It suffers relatively little from the usual complaint I have with self-help and improvement books; it doesn’t seem to develop a premise in 3 pages and then spend 300 more expanding on it. There’s a lot in there for people in difficult jobs, people who volunteer too much (on or off the job), and parents.
Controllers: Not Respecting Others’ Boundaries
“What do you mean, you’re quitting? You can’t leave now!” Steve looked across his desk at his administrative assistant. Frank had been working for Steve for several years and was finally fed up. He had given his all to the position, but Steve didn’t know when to back off.
Time after time, Steve would insist on Frank’s spending unpaid time at the office on important projects. Frank had even switched his vacation schedule twice at Steve’s insistence. But the final straw was when Steve began calling and texting Frank at home. An occasional after-hours text Frank could understand. But now it was happening almost every day, primarily during dinnertime. His family ended up eating without him while Frank stepped away for twenty-minute calls or texting sessions with his boss.
Boundaries, Chapter 3 “Boundary Problems” by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
If the above excerpt sounds a little familiar (whether you sound like Frank or Steve), this book might be worth a look.