How to tell if you’re arguing with an idiot

(A)n argument is an intellectual process… contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of any statement the other person makes.

No, it isn’t.

– Monty Python, The Argument Sketch

I’ve recently had occasion to argue with an idiot. Every time I find myself in this position, I’m reminded of my brother’s advice that you can’t make sense of the insensible. So here are the tell-tale signs:

  • You’re just finding that they automatically gainsay everything you say. To test this (as if you really care), throw in a few statements that no one could possibly have a problem with. You’ll be surprised how often an idiot will just disagree without thinking. That’s because they’re not used to thinking, and they’re not really listening.
  • It’s sticky. It goes and goes. It’s like playing whack-a-mole with ideas, or cutting heads off the proverbial hydra.
  • It’s all about them. The idiot cannot see anything from any point of view other than his or her own. An intelligent person can understand a position whether they agree with it or not. An idiot can’t get outside their own skin long enough.

Well, I could say more, but I’m extremely tired. In addition to working about 24 hours of the last 48 on a bicycling event, I’ve had to argue with an idiot in the process.

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